1. |
Doing Fine
03:30
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I’ve been feeling alright
I think that I’m on the mend
There’s an old man shaking my shoulders
And he’s counting me in again
Gotta do it
Go head, live the life you agreed to won’t you
Move it
And move on
In my dream last night
the dog was still on the leash
He was dead but I just kept
dragging him down the street
How stupid
That seemed to me
How foolish
The wish might be
And really I’m doing fine
Cause everything’s alright
I mean why
Wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I, I wouldn’t I
Wouldn’t I like to have a reason
To make sense of the feeling
Saving all my breakdowns for the evening
Even feeling guilty while I’m sleeping
Praying one day I learn to lose my pretensions
Easiest way to suffer is to be the exception
Come on
Face it, you’re not special in your sadness and that
Face is
Pissing me off
And really I’m doing fine
Cause everything’s alright
I mean why
Wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I, I wouldn’t I
Wouldn’t I like to have a reason
To make sense of the feeling
Saving all my breakdowns for the evening
Even feeling guilty while I’m sleeping
Snap out of it
I’m doing fine
And really I’m doing fine
Cause everything’s alright
I mean why
Wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I, I wouldn’t I
Wouldn’t I like to have a reason
To make sense of the feeling
Saving all my breakdowns for the evening
Even feeling guilty while I’m sleeping
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2. |
Pulp
04:39
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Nose to nose I hold you
So close in the moment
Though I know, I feel it slipping away
I told you to shut your mouth
When you started talking about
Passing years
Passing days
I’ve been having visions of you as a baby
Maybe part of it is all in my head
I don’t think I understand time as a line
I wasn’t meant to live it like this I guess
And I don’t know how you people do it
See it all without the urge to fall right through it
Crack open a photo book
Sit alone at 20 and look for a sign
That I was there
Stare into the ceiling and contemplate the feeling of total obsoletion Dust and despair
And yet I can’t stop trying
To hold every beautiful thing in my hands
I suck the pulp until I choke
On what was never meant to last
And still I hope, although I know
I’m never gonna get it all back
I feel limited in my constant sensitivity
To what I know will hurt me soon
Every day I spend in the sun I waste
Thinking of what will come when it’s time for the moon
If I have to love you
I don’t know how to do it without holding on too tight And I don’t wanna leave you but I might
Only cause I don’t know how to do this right
And yet I can’t stop trying
To hold every beautiful thing in my hands
I suck the pulp until I choke
On what was never meant to last
And still I hope, although I know
I’m never gonna get it all back
Oh just hold me
Tell me I can hold it all too
Tell me something small
Lie so I can make it through
Tell me there’s another side
And I’ll be with it again
Fake omnipotence so I can crawl back into bed
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3. |
Playhouse
03:48
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Staring at the mirror in the bathroom
Sink into the girl I am away from you
I’ve been sick but haven’t been drinking much
I bet that it’s the other stuff
I hang out at your house with the tennis court
I eat the fancy dinners with the tiny fork
You have a kind of playfulness that I adore
You’ve never really had to grow up before
I guess I could play house with you
I guess life could be easy for me too
If I do
But I know debt and I know dirt
I know the unrelenting earth
And it’s true that
I would choose that
I always got the sense you felt respected
When I treated you just like a little kid
I bring up the money and you throw a fit
I say that I’m sorry but I don’t mean it
And you’re the only person that can make me cry
Laughing til I feel the joy split my sides
Heartache settles in hot and tight
I love you but I can’t keep putting up fights
I guess I could play house with you
I guess life could be easy for me too
If I do
But I know debt and I know dirt
I know the unrelenting earth
And I knew that
I would choose that
I still have a shirt you bought me last year
And it’s worth about half of my rent here
I did not object; I took what’s given
Just like you did
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4. |
Salt Circle
04:20
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“I could never do that”
Many men have said to me
While they’re watching me cry
Or talking to myself in my sleep
In a spiritual silence
They observe and then detach
Oh, he says he admires me
But I know he doesn’t wanna be like that
I’m tender as a soft warm palm
And I don’t know how to deal with my anger yet
When I was younger I’d curse the thought
Of thinking all of them
And I’m afraid of losing my mind
Cause then I’d lose my place
Oh, nothing keeps me here as much as
The sight of my own face
I’m always gonna feel it
I’ve spent enough time trying not to believe it
I’m always gonna feel the way I do
And I do feel it all
All the time
Salem Mass in 2019
Post aura readings on a field of green
Glowing orange, the both of us
According to the witch on the street
Trading braiding hair in your bedroom
I’ll salt circle your brain if I have to
It doesn’t feel quite right to call you a friend
When we take on new bodies I will scour the earth to find you again
I’m always gonna feel it
I’ve spent enough time trying not to believe it
I’m always gonna feel the way I do
And I do feel it all
All the time
Little body carrying an Earthly burden
Sitting in the grass, let the feeling turn into a friend
Something in the heartspace keeps you waiting
Every little stone skipping on this lake leads to
The end
I’m always gonna feel it
I’ve spent enough time trying not to believe it
I’m always gonna feel the way I do
And I do feel it all
All the time
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5. |
Older
04:36
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I’ve got a balcony in my new apartment
I thought you’d like to know
I’ve got a cat that sleeps in between my feet at night
And a grip that I’m letting go
I’ve got a pretty long fuse
I’ve got some pretty tattoos
I get a lot of good news
And it all belongs to you too
You bore a hole inside a life that didn’t compromise and
I now call that a memory
Staring straight through what seemed an endless blue
You were thinking of me
You drew a pretty short straw
You made a lot of tough calls
I’m always thinking of you
I can’t ever make it up to you
But I can always make a space for you
Why don’t you lay here
Head on my shoulder
You’re the only reason I could ever get older
I don’t know how you survived it
I don’t think I’d have the strength now
But I was there
I am there all the time
And time is a slippery disc
And memory is all that’s mine
I can’t ever make it up to you
But I can always make a space for you
Why don’t you lay here
Head on my shoulder
You’re the only reason I could ever get older
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